2009 [Part 4]

Wow. I timed this perfectly, didn't I? I started my 2009 series on Sunday, and wrote one everyday, but didn't have time yesterday, and here I am, on New Year's Eve. Last one.

It's time for the countdown of my favorite moments of this year. These are always so, so hard.

15. Being the graphics person for my youth group for one day--pastor Lee asked me to make some graphics for our youth group. I only came in for one day, and I wasn't asked to do it again, but I felt real important for a while. Heh. Now we have a new graphics person, but that's ok.

14. Eating at five guys for the 2nd-11th time--yeah I'm not kidding. 11th. I keep the menus every time so I have proof. I ate there 10 times this year. Crazy. It's just so. GOOD.

13. Seeing Relient K--that was so cool. They've been in my top 2 favorite bands going on 4 years now. So much talent. I hope they keep on.

12. Finishing my switchfoot cross stitching project--That was alot of hard work and I plan on giving it to them one day. Each time I've met them [only twice haha] I've given them something. I like giving back. They DEFINITELY deserve it.

11. The initiation at cross country camp--I can't explain, but it was very interesting.

10. The day when I ran 6 miles at practice--It was cold and wet. And I overachieved for the first time that season. I had a really hard time this season, so I'm hoping next year I'll be really good. I just have to work hard.

9. When Jon @replied me on twitter--actually he #replied me, but close enough. Hehehh.

8. The first time I webcammed Pin before she had one--that dust remover spray stuff. That was SO FUNNY.

7. Meeting Jon for the first time at the Fiction Family show--it was so great to finally meet one of my heroes. It was really cool that he wore my fedora at that show too. Jon is such a nice guy. So down to earth. It's so easy to talk to him. I'll remember that night forever.

6. Meeting Sare--my school always has an 8th grade trip to Washington DC and Sare happens to live within driving distance [we drove too, but 8 hours isn't technically legit "driving distance"] and we set it all up and met outside of that big church place. For some reason I can't remember what it's called. Anyway, it was so awesome meeting her after all the letters and stuff!!

5. Playing guitar at the highschool retreat--it was almost like a tour. hahaha. we were there for 3 days I think, and we played a couple songs every night, and practiced in the afternoons. When we were in the "green room" everyone clapped slowly and got faster and faster like some people do at concerts. It was awesome. :D My fingers got very very calloused that week. It was great.

4. Hanging with Dylan, Anna, and Cecelia and the switchfoot show--it was really cool! It's the first show I've ever experienced with boardies. It's like a no worries thing. I can't wait til that happens again.

3. Jumping on the trampoline with Alex--that was GREAT. We're crazy. It was raining--POURING actually-- and 9:30pm-11:00pm [I think] and we were in our swimsuits. Weirdest, most random thing I have ever done, hands down. It was so much fun. HAHAH.

2. My first switchfoot show complete with aftershow and first time meeting all the guys--no explaining needed.

1. Fishing with Blake, Madeline, and Avery at the highschool retreat--I'll NEVER forget that day. None of them even read my blog but that's okay. But that was the greatest. Impromptu fishing trips are the best, even though we didn't catch anything but grass. "Nyeh!"

Well that just about wraps it up. There were millions of moments in 2009, so narrowing it down to 15 is very difficult. Anyway, to sum up this year, I think it was at least a little better than '08. At the end of my 2008 post I said

Reading all these great things from 2008, you would think it was an incredible year. Well, for me it was pretty good, but not the best. I believe 2009 will be better, and I'll make it better. 2008 for me was filled with too much heartbreak, too many letdowns, too many emotions, too much pain. I've slowly learned to get a hold of myself and learn to deal with things, though. 2008 has made me a stronger person. I will never forget all the things that God used to prepare me for the future, and though they seemed harsh and unfair at the time, I thank Him for them nonetheless.

 
So this year included a bit of heartbreak, a bit of pain, but unlike last year I didn't let those become the top 2 ingredients of this year. You know how on ingredient labels the first 2 ingredients are the ones used most in the food? Yeah. The top ingredient for me this year was hope. Hope during the pain and heartbreak, hope for a better tomorrow, for a better week, for a better me. I think I did become a better Lee. I tried not to let others define me. God is becoming the center of my life like He intended. I'm starting to let Him. It's hard to step out of the spotlight of your own life, but I'm learning that it's the for the best. I hope that 2010 is better because I've learned so many lessons this year that I can use to help myself and others next year. Have a great new year, everyone!

2009 [Part 3]

I have a friend named Nova. Lizabeth is also her name. I have her last peter pan stamp. Anyway, she's also doing a 2009 end-of-year post, and she did it by the month. I think I'll do that too. Just the highlights and/or major events of each one.

• January- I got my phone during this month. Also, Sare surprised me by mailing me the Fiction Family CD--well I knew she was sending me that, but the surprise was that she got her insert signed by sean and jon at the show she went to and she switched it with mine and gave me the signed one! I was like WOW. HAHA. It was amazing :D. I remember I was on my way to somewhere but I forget where. That's the disadvantage of doing these things at the end of the year because I forget stuff. I have to start writing blog entries with highlights at the end of every month.

• February- Hmmm... I have no recollection of february at ALL. Sorry. Wait I think I got my drastic haircut then. Yeah I think so. Then there was a mouse in Mr. Brown's class that day too. I think that was in February. hahah.

• March- Well it was my birthday that month. And that's when it snowed and made our power go out for 3 days. hah. I think we also went on our DC trip this month. Yeah I think it was either the last week of March or first week of April, which means I also met SARE this month! Jej!!

• April- OOH. That was the month where I made a REALLY STUPID mistake that I STILL kick myself for to this very day. Besides that I don't remember anything.

• May- This is when I had this awful pain in my side and spent all day at the doctor/hospital as they tried to figure out what it was, then everyone prayed for me while I was there, then it went away. God has shown me that He really is the Great Physician several times.

• June- Fiction Family show. Jon wore my fedora. I met him. I met Dylan. I met Susie. Probably the best night of my life. Well, one of them. Then the next day I experienced my first PCD. It was terrible. But I haven't had PCD since. Weird. Also this was the month of Pin webcamming.

• July- I met a very awesome guy whose very presence made my summer really great. I never really talked to him, but that's okay. This was also the month when I made the Oh! Gravity fedora and Jon reposted it. Teehee.

• August- Switchfoot show. My first time seeing and meeting them. IT WAS GREAT. Then I got to attend the aftershow!! I met Anna on the way there! And I didn't even have PCD the next day. It also marked my first day of highschool. BLEHHH.

• September- I got pink eye during this month. Hmm. What else? Oh yeah, I ate 4 enchiladas in one sitting at a mexican restaurant. I'm surprised I didn't puke. And I think our band's first performance was this month. It had to be. And the highschool retreat was this month too. Fun times.

• October- I got to see Relient K even though I was sick, which made the experience bittersweet. I also didn't get to stay for the whole thing. Oh well. Relient K's Forget and Not Slow Down also came out in October. Unfortunately I put off buying it. Heh. But I do have it now :). That's all I remember from October, sadly.

• November- Hello Hurricane! I was thrilled because I got mine 3 days early, as did most people. Not AmyLynne though. HAHAHA. Sorry. What else happened in November? Thanksgiving was nice. I hardly remember that day, though. Heh. Ifail.

• December- Switchfoot show #2. Met Dylan again, met Cecelia, met Anna again, and met this guy named Tyler. His band needs a new guitarist, but I live nowhere near them. Bummer. Also, the first time I puked this year. And Christmas. And my first highschool exams. I sink zat eez all!

Dude. I didn't plan for that to be that long. Oops. Oh well. HEHEH. I hope you liked it. I'll list 10-20 best moments in tomorrow's post.

"I Don't Like 'Em. Nope. No I Don't."

You win points if you know where the quote came from.

Anyway, this is my 3rd blog post of the day. If you missed the other two, feel free to scroll down, and if
they're not there, click the header, it'll refresh, then scroll down.

I feel like ranting expressing my opinion.

So. Relationships at this age and younger. Actually, let me correct myself. Relationships at this age and younger when you're not mature enough to know what a relationship entails. Okay. Yes... OH MY GOODNESS. I was watching the Suite Life on Deck, yes, I was watching that, and that Bailey girl was like FREAKING OUT at Cody because these other girls were flirting with him. And in another episode when she demanded that he tell her what he was doing, he told her and she was like YOU'RELYINGZOMGI'MNEVERTALKINGTOYOUAGAIN. Good GRIEF. These stupid young relationships bring out the worst in people, in my opinion. It causes you to miss someone if you don't see them after an hour, it causes unnecessary jealousy, it causes tempers to rise, it causes premature romantic feelings, all kinds of junk. I don't like it. But to each his own.

Dear Old Friend:

     Ehhhh. I know I'm interrupting my 2009 thing, but it's okay.
     I know that the person I'm talking about isn't reading this, but if you are, you'll definitely know it's you.
     I miss you so much I can't even stand it. I don't wanna text you or anything because I tried that and the conversation just dies and I don't wanna be annoying.
     I already sent you this in a letter but I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I miss everything. All the IMs, all the inside jokes, even the awkward phone call where I didn't know what to say and I was afraid that I'd be really boring.
     I don't even know what happened. I guess I was too boring for you. But it's so weird how friendships just end without a fight, without a disowning conversation, nothing. I just read a bunch of your old blog posts and I miss the fun person you used to be. You might still be that fun person, but I never see you anymore. I don't know what to do.
    This is pointless but I wanted you to know I'll always love you no matter what.
     I guess I can't be selfish. You go out into the world and live, but please be careful. I don't want to see you hurt. I can't take it. I can barely look back on our friendship without shedding a tear, so if you get hurt I think I might just die.
     I'm gonna be in your state next summer and I'm really hoping you'll be at the "big event" because I still wanted to meet you like we always planned. Although I do know exactly where you live and I could come find you, that would be horribly awful and you might not like that.
     You're an amazing strong-willed girl, and I know without a doubt that you can go out there and be something big. I hate that I'm no longer a part of your life, but in some ways you're still a part of mine. I just hope that this isn't the last I see or hear of you.
     I want everything to be like it was when we were such good friends, or so I thought. Whenever I'm friends with older people I wonder whether or not they really want to be my friend, or if I'm just some stupid kid who annoys them, and I really felt like you really wanted to be my friend. I don't know. I wish you the best, though.
     Once again, I love you.

2009 [Part 2]

I guess I'll do what I did in my 2008 blog by listing things that made this year great. Fortunately, blogger is so much better than myspace blogs, so I can actually have bullets in my list! Hah.

• Boardies. Meeting them, writing letters to them, reading blogs, keeping contact on facebook. You guys are my friends, not just random people. I'm pretty sure switchfoot fans are the only ones who are this close.
• Cross country was pretty nice this year also. I had a pretty hard time at first, even though this is my 3rd year, but I didn't give up even though I really wanted to at some times. But we won our state championship again, so... awesome!
• Music. Guitar and piano. It's nice to be able to figure out songs without the help of tabs or sheet music. I feel like God gave me that talent. Also, several great songs and albums have come out this year that I've loved :D. And being in my first band is awesome.
• Switchfoot. They've come really far just in 2009, and they just amaze me so much. They're the best band you could ever imagine. Seeing them live is such a great experience!
• Friends. Unfortunately I've lost a few. It's a weird thing. Maybe it just happens to me. I guess people just lose interest in me. Hah. I don't blame 'em. But to the people who still talk to me, thank you. You've kept me going strong throughout the year. You truly can't live without friends.
• Confidence/self esteem. I think that this year I've become more confident in who I am. I think God has shown me that I'm HIS child and I don't need to prove anything to anyone. I don't have to try to be something I'm not. I don't have to lie to get people to like me, and if they don't, then who cares? People aren't my god. If God's pleased with me, then that's all that should matter.

I think that's it. Tomorrow the 10, maybe 20, maybe 13 [heh ;)] best moments of 2009 will be coming.

See ya.

2009 [Part 1]

Ah. It's now time for my end-of-year blog post. I would normally write this on the last day of the year, December 31st, but I guess I'll divide it up between the days in this week because these tend to get lengthy and I tend to procrastinate. For today's I'm going to repost last year's end-of-year blog post.

2008

I feel like writing a blog today, so that is what I shall do. I'm writing this one about 2008. 2008 as a whole, what made it a great year, and I'm picking out the 10-20 best moments.

What made 2008 a great year:


-8th Grade. It's amazing. It just feels so laid back compared to every other school year. My class is so small, we've just become so close.

-New friends. Matt, Devin, Jordan, Andie, other Jordan, Rachel, Taylor, and more. I love making new friends. You've made this year great.


-Old friends. Kristin, Alex, Marla, Ann Louise, Chelsea, Ivey, Jamie, Hayley...just to name a few. Great bunch of friends. I love you guys.


-LOBH. The best site. Ever. I've made a ton of new friends there too. Krista, Sare, Jeanna, Dylan, Claire, Gabby, Nova, Elizabeth, Mellie, Mike, wayyyy more. It's really connected me to Switchfoot and to other people THROUGH Switchfoot.


-Guitar. I've gotten very far in my guitar lessons, and performing is so much fun! I love it more than ever.


-Switchfoot & Co. Spring, Summer, The best Yet, Limbs and Branches, Webcam, This is Home, Fiction Family, The Bro-Am, When she's Near, Guitar Screaming, everything. The best band ever has made this a great year.


-Cross Country. It was not a good season for me, but that's not why I chose it for this. Last season was a little better, but I was borderline anti-social. This year I bonded with the team way more. Even though I got hurt and didn't beat my best time or get to run at state, the friends I made that supported me made it all worthwhile. [is that how you spell that?]


Best moments:


10. I ate at 5 Guys for the first time. It was the most amazing burger. Ever.


9. I was part of the huge Twilight thing, but better yet I didn't become obsessed, and once I read the books [some of them twice] I got over it and moved on.


8. Hah. Clemson beat Carolina this year. That's always good. Dabo is growing on me.


7. The day we only had 8 or 9 people in our class. That day we became incredibly close.


6. State. I don't really like remembering that day because I didn't run, but our varsity girls won another one. It was still a good day.


5. The webcam concert. Switchfoot had a concert in Muskegon, MI, and broadcasted it on the webcam. I counted that as my first official Switchfoot concert.


4. Jon merchandise. I bought that tote bag. 97. Made by Jon and his friends and family. That's probably the most special thing I own.


3. Cross Country camp. The friendships with Matt and Devin began during that trip. It was so much fun. Also the first time I ran 8 miles. I also almost died from choking on tea.


2. Joining LOBH. I met all of these great people there who love Switchfoot as much as I do. I never have to tone down the Switchfoot speak there. They understand.


1. There's a tie for this. Sare and Krista. Sare has been such an incredible friend. The moment that is tied for number 1 is The Fingerless Gloves. Sare knits, and I asked her to make a custom order. I bought my gloves from her store, and she sent them to me, along with a 6 (or more) page letter. That was incredibly special, and also my first non-internet contact with a boardie. Krista has been a great LOBH friend too. We have become so close. At least I think so. The great moment was when we came up with our family-friend word. Instead of kin, we came up with 'pin'. I love both of them so much.


2008 as a whole:


Reading all these great things from 2008, you would think it was an incredible year. Well, for me it was pretty good, but not the best. I believe 2009 will be better, and I'll make it better. 2008 for me was filled with too much heartbreak, too many letdowns, too many emotions, too much pain. I've slowly learned to get a hold of myself and learn to deal with things, though. 2008 has made me a stronger person. I will never forget all the things that God used to prepare me for the future, and though they seemed harsh and unfair at the time, I thank Him for them nonetheless.


So to end this blog, I would like to say Happy New Year. May it be much better than last year. Make and break your resolutions if you must, but never forget that the year can only be as good as you make it.

VEGAN (part 2)

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! You should listen to "Boxing Day" by Relient K. It sums up all the feelings of today.

So a morning spent in the bathroom puking has further convinced me to indulge in the life of healthy eating. I ate so MUCH yesterday, and like at MIDNIGHT I was really full but I ate candy anyway. Stupid me. I think I'll start the healthiness today. Yeah.

Anyway, I'm thrilled that I have FANSD now. I haven't had the chance to listen to it on my ipod yet, but I'm looking forward to it. Listening to stuff on my ipod=win because you hear EVERYTHING. Every sound; all the special stuff you don't notice when you're listening to it on your computer. It's great!

Today will most likely be spent on the couch with a book and maybe some tv. And no sudden moves to keep the nausea away. The whole time I was puking I kept thinking about Jon Foreman. I know that's really weird, but I remember a few weeks ago he was really sick so I decided that if he's still alive, I can make it too. It's weird how you think of the strangest stuff. I was thinking about how many people could be in the same position I was in at that very moment. And I decided that if I ever was a stand up comic my first joke would be this one that I made up between sicknesses. "Man I feel really sorry for toilets. They take so much crap." Interesting. My mind goes askew [another favorite word, Renae ;)] whenever I'm sick. I always have the weirdest, most annoying dreams. I'm always half-awake during them too. And I can't make myself wake up. It's awful. Has that ever happened to you?

Well I hope no one over ate like I did, and let that be a lesson to each and every one of ya. Happy Boxing Day.

FINALLY

HAHAHA. Remember all those "I'll buy FANSD *someday*" promises? Well I FINALLY have it. YAY. My mother bought it for me and gave it to me tonight for a Christmas present! SQUEE.

Isn't it lovely? Heh. I'm listening to it now.

Anyway, kids, remember that Christmas isn't about presents, food, shopping, or even "the christmas spirit!!!!@$#%!41ZOMGidhfiwjhuiwo" It's about JESUS' BIRTH. YEAH REMEMBER HIM?? THE REASON YOU'RE ALIVE? Yeah, Him.

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

The Duggars. are Awesome.

I have much to learn. Much. Things like "love is patient." And feeling sorry for yourself is not what God wants me to do.

On another note, I wanna be like the Duggars. Now right now you probably have one of three reactions.
1. You know the Duggars, so your reaction is--are you NUTS?
2. You have no clue who the Duggars are, so you're waiting for an explanation.
3. You know who the Duggars are and you've actually thought it through and agree with me.

So go ahead and decide which of the three you are, I don't mind. And I'll proceed to tell you why I want to be like the Duggars. Not the 18 kids thing, because I think I'd die. Not the long skirts/no pants/no shorts only thing either. You may have seen the episode where Josh and Anna get engaged and maybe you've also seen the one where they get married. They didn't date. They courted. And I know that sounds retarded or old fashioned or weird to you, but it's not as extreme as it seems. I've also been reading this book called "I Kissed Dating Goodbye." It's not as extreme as *it* seems either. They've both shown me alot about dating and stuff and they made me decide that I definitely wanna try to guard my heart. And save my first kiss for the altar. I've been debating about that, but the episode where Josh and Anna get married really confirmed my decision. They are one of the most in love couples I have ever seen. They saved every ounce of themselves for that day. It was so beautiful! Ahh. I hope I can hold up. I also hope I don't stay single my whole life. I can see that happening. It doesn't seem very fun. Oh well. I trust that God knows best so I shall see!

Yep.

Yes, new layout. It's classy, eh? I added a new thing at the bottom. It's photo credits. I know this isn't a major website, and I won't get into any real trouble, but hey, if these photos are yours, and you don't want me using them, that's cool. I'll take 'em off.

The header. Ahh the header. It represents me moving on. From various things. Various people, various experiences, blah blah you name it. If you look closely, you'll see a ton of lines from Relient K's "Forget and Not Slow Down" album, with "THIS IS THE END" between each one, as "if you want it" finishes off the banner. All enclosed within my two instruments. I really liked making this one. Tell me what you think!

I'm so Far Behind

I think I'm falling back into that state of lull. I don't know the exact definition of "lull" but that's the word that's in my head. I'll look it up.

"a temporary calm, quiet, or stillness. a soothing sound. a pacified or stupefied condition." Okay. Wrong word. I'll go find the right word.

Desolation. That's a good one. "an act or instance of desolating. the state of being desolated. devastation; ruin. depopulation. dreariness; barrenness. deprivation of companionship; loneliness. sorrow; grief; woe. a desolate place."  Maybe not as extreme as its definition makes it sound. But this happens to me all the time. I have a chunk of 3 weeks to maybe 2 months of just content, happy, woo, joyful blah blah time, then I slip into desolation. I don't know if I imagine it, or if it really happens, but it feels like all the good stuff in my life is outweighed by the bad, and this empty feeling just takes over.

Does anyone else ever experience this? What do you suggest, then?




definitions from Dictionary.com.

Everything Makes Sense When You're With Me

Today I was listening to Relient K's "Forget and Not Slow Down" album. [I still don't own it, unfortunately, but I will buy it someday.] The majority of the tracks have to do with the breakup, as I've mentioned before, but some of them, like "Savannah" and "Candlelight", seem to have been written during the good times. I think that maybe those are the saddest of all. When I hear Matt sing "Baby, I spent my life wondering when I'd find you, I searched for all these years and now you're right here. I need you to know that everything makes sense when you're with me." It makes me feel so awful that things turned out like they did. I can't even imagine how it would feel to think you've finally found the one you're meant to be with, your other half, and then they break off the engagement, and that's that. I'm sure it's indescribable.

On another note, here is my friend Lisa [Olesia]'s blog. It's full of some great GREAT stuff, so I suggest you check it out.

Alrighty. Bye.

VEGAN.

HAHAHAH. I love that word. Pin said it one time when we were talking about vegetarians and such. It made me laugh really hard. I think I should eat healthier. Because I think I'm one of the most unhealthy eaters ever. I say this as I have a stack of 6 oreos sitting in front of me. *eats one* This is going to be WAY harder than it sounds. Good thing I'm a runner though. If I wasn't, I'd be REALLY fat. Anyway, I think I might wait until after Christmas to start my venture into the world of health. Because holiday food is always so GOOD. Yeah. So I thought I'd let you know.

Today I played real drums for the first time. Much more satisfying than those stupid fake ones where you hit a black pad thing. I'm not that good at playing drums, but no one complained so I think I was alright. I kind of want a drum set now. But they're too loud. That's one instrument that I fear I'll never be *really* good at playing.

Okay that is all. I hadn't posted in like 4 days so I wanted you all to know I was still alive. Bye.

The Art of the Inside Joke

Ah. Inside jokes. These make a real hypocrite out of me sometimes. I'm a part of so many, yet I get so mad at other people who make their inside jokes so public. What is it about inside jokes? I think they make us feel more included. They make us feel special because we exclude others. That's not cool. Really folks. If it's such an inside joke, don't post it on your facebook status. People will ask about it, then you'll reply, "inside joke!" thus making that person angry. So stop it, please. If you explain your inside joke, that's good. I've started doing that. It feels good when people are nice enough to explain their inside joke to you. Although it's not "inside" anymore, that's the POINT. We need to get away from this independent attitude and start being there for eachother.

That's my preachy/annoying blog post of the day. Bye.